Sleep Training, Is It Really Possible?
By Nancy Hamm
I would love to specifically address one issue that is near and dear to my heart, “sleeping through the night” a phenomenon that some babies seem to be doing. You are probably wondering, is it really possible? Can my baby really do that? What exactly is sleeping through the night? How do I do that? Do I need a specialist to come in and do it for me or can I do it on my own?
I have had consultations with parents who have had 7 and 8 month old babies who are still getting up one or two times a night for a feeding. I have also had parents of 2 and 3 year olds calling me because their toddlers are still getting up at night. What is going on? They certainly do not need to be eating during the night. They should be getting all the required ounces and nutrition during the day. The nighttime awakenings are just a habit they have gotten into and have successfully convinced their parents that they need.
Can my baby do that? You bet! Don’t let them fool you. Babies do have a daily requirement of food that they need. Generally by 12 weeks they are able to get the nutrition required during daylight hours. The rest is a habit that has been formed by them waking up since birth every 3 hours. Remember, the feedings that you eliminate at night will be made up during the day. That will happen by you adding ounces to each bottle. We always keep a close eye on them making sure they continue to gain the ½ pounds a week. We have never had a baby have to go back on the middle of the night feedings once they were sleeping through the night, because of weight loss.
Sleeping through the night (7 PM – 7 AM) is entirely possible for a baby who weighs 12 pounds or is 12 weeks old (full term). Some people consider 11 PM – 7 PM a full night. I think a baby should be able to do that by 10 weeks, with the full 12 hours by 12 weeks of age.
Can I train my baby on my own? To be able to do it on your own you must emotionally detach from your baby during nighttime hours. Some parents can do that, others cannot. My philosophy is “at night there is no love, only business.” If you are a parent who can snuggle, love and cuddle during the day and stick to business at night you should be able to sleep train your baby to sleep during the night. Consistency is the key.
What about the no cry methods? Let’s be honest. You are taking away something from your child they are accustom to receiving and they are going to cry. We have methods that do not involve ‘crying it out’ however, there is not a method that you can use that will have no crying. It really depends on how focused you are to getting the job done. When a baby is not sleeping through the night, it is not the baby’s issue, it is always the parent’s issue. As Newborn Care Specialists and Sleep Specialists, we do more consultations on how to train the parents then we have on how to train the baby.
This is a time when a Newborn Care Specialist’s services can extremely helpful. They typically start when your baby first arrives home from the hospital. They begin your baby on a sleeping and feeding schedule. The Newborn Care Specialist will gradually help your baby sleep a little longer each night until your baby is sleeping the entire night. This is generally a 2 – 3 month process.
What do you do if your baby is already passed the 3 month mark and still not sleeping? You can do an in-person or telephone consultation with a Sleep Specialist. This really is a priceless service. Many times you will be able to do it on your own with the guidance of a Sleep Specialist. If you feel you would do better if someone else did the job, the Sleep Specialist can come into your home and do the sleep training for you. The length of her job will depend on the plan you decide on.
What about multiples? Can they be trained as well? Absolutely! There is little difference in training two, three or four. The only difference is that you may have to separate them while the training is taking place so they do not wake each other up. Once the training is complete, they are back to sleeping together.
What is the difference between A Newborn Care Specialist and a Sleep Specialist?
A Newborn Care Specialist can be a wonderful asset to your family when you arrive home from the hospital with your newborn. Her services are priceless. She will come in and educate the parents on scheduling, feeding, breast feeding, sleep training, or any newborn issues you may have. She will also take over the night time routine and in the process teach your newborn to sleep through the night. Once the baby is settled into a daily routine, sleep and eating schedule they will be happy and content. Your Newborn Care Specialist can stay from 1 week up to 3 months or longer if you have premature babies. With her help you will feel more confident in your newborn care skills and you will be well on your way to a well-integrated family structure.
Even if you decide to gift yourself with only a couple of weeks of help, the education you will receive and the rest you will get for those two weeks will have your friends envious.
A Sleep Specialist will generally come in when your child is a little older. We generally see babies from 10 weeks on. By that time the parents are totally exhausted and so sleep deprived they are just looking for some relief. A Sleep Specialist will have you keep a detailed record or your child’s day for 3 consecutive days, have you answer some pertinent questions and then come over and give you a personalized sleep consultation on your little one. At that point you will have 2 options, one to do it yourself or the other to hire the Sleep Specialist to sleep train the baby for you. Many times your Sleep Specialist will also be a Newborn Care Specialist.
Sleep deprivation really is not necessary. There is relief and help right around the corner. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Nancy Hamm is a Newborn Care Specialist/Sleep Specialist with over 17 years of experience. She personally specializes in twins and has Newborn Care Specialist’s who specialize in triplets and travel anywhere in the country. She owns Exclusively Baby Nurses, The Baby Nurse Directory and Gentle Ventures. She does classes, consultations, education, night nursing, sleep training and can be found at 602-263-1003 or at www.exclusivelybabynurses.org or emailed at Nancy@exclusivelybabynurses.com
